![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
my thoughts...
Sep. 11th, 2002 08:46 pmtoday i haven't had much of a chance to reflect. i decided, against my wishes, to go on with my day. to go to work and do my civic duty. in doing so, i stayed so busy i could hardly stop to think about the events last year. that makes me both sad and happy.
i did have a chance to participate in the moment of silence. i was in my car, on my way to work. listening to my favorite morning program. i wondered if they were going to do a moment of silence and was relieved when they did. i considered pulling over, but decided to trek on with tears rolling down my face. remembering how many people died in that very instant. the pain is overwhelming and i didn't even know a single person that was killed. i can't imagine the heartache of people who had friends or loved ones aboard those planes or in those buildings. i mourn for them and for the rest of the country. after the moment of silence they played ray charles' version of America the Beautiful. again...it made me cry like a baby.
the rest of my day was spent like any other day. i got into work. i got the orders that had to be entered for the day and began to enter them into our computer system. a stray puppy had found it's way to our building and so most of the day i was cuddling him and taking care of him. it was a nice distraction. i conversed with coworkers about our memories of last year and did my job. there wasn't much time to do anything else. my boss isn't one to let us huddle around a tv or radio to watch the memorials. i wish i could have seen them, but maybe it would have been too much. i don't know.
i would look at the clock to try to keep my memory on the events that were unfolding at that time last year. i would take a minute and say a little prayer for the people that were and are still affected. then i'd go back to my day.
when i got home from work i sat in my kitchen with my family. discussing the day, gathering around the tv and just generally living our lives. around 6 pm i decided to go to my room and watch ABC news' special on the day. i've been steadily crying since then. watching the stories of our nation's leaders as they lived them and then later the accounts of the victims who were inside towers one and two.
i will never be able to imagine the things they saw, heard or went through. i don't think i would ever want to. seeing them on tv is enough for me.
i pray that those people will one day be able to live their lives as they did before September 11, 2001. sadly, i don't think that will ever happen. we've all been affected by that day. it will forever haunt us. it's a day all airplanes were grounded. a day two of the most well known building collapsed. a day when the nation sat in stunned silence as the day unfurled.
when i think of how much this day represents loss to so many people, i also think of how it gave me so much. without this day, i don't think i would have been in the relationship i am today. without this day, belmont would have been just another person in the Bronze i was cordial to, but never really had a meaningful conversation with.
in the days following the attacks, he and i were posting at another board. i had expressed my utter disbelief and sadness about what had happened and he private messaged me to see how i was doing. me! i wasn't the one who had been literal feet from the towers collapsing. he had. yet, he was worried about me and how i was dealing with things. it struck me and from that day forward we private messaged back and forth. we emailed. we exchanged phone calls and eventually expressed our love for each other. this led to our first meeting and i don't have a single regret about any of it. he is my light and i don't know what i'd do without him.
most of you probably didn't know he'd been there or how we initially became involved. now you know. maybe now you understand why i feel the way i do about today and him.
all i can say is that i wish something like this didn't have to happen to bring us all closer. unfortunately, as human beings we have to have something so devastating happen to us before we can understand and appreciate what we have. i hope you all take a minute and appreciate how good we really do have it. i don't understand people who can be so completely untouched or uncaring about these events. it makes me wonder about the kind of people they are.
my aunt, among many other people, don't want to hear about the events of last year. they're either tired of hearing about, it's too painful, or they simply don't care. i'm not sure what category my aunt falls into. it does make me angry though. i know people are entitled to feel how they wnat. i respect that. however, it makes me call into question that persons character. how could you not care about what happened? i would have thought this would be a wake up call to americans. however, i'm finding more and more that people feel far removed from it. that it happened hundreds of miles away from them and seemingly doesn't affect them. well, pardon me, but fuck you. i live 900 miles from NYC and about 500 from Washington, DC. still, it struck every fiber in my being. i don't know how someone can watch that footage and not be affected. i can't watch it without getting goosebumps and having tears well up and a lump form in my throat. i guess it all just comes down to priorities. how you view others feelings and pain versus your own. i don't know. i'm going to stop ranting about it now.
this day will always be etched into my memory. i will never forget....
i did have a chance to participate in the moment of silence. i was in my car, on my way to work. listening to my favorite morning program. i wondered if they were going to do a moment of silence and was relieved when they did. i considered pulling over, but decided to trek on with tears rolling down my face. remembering how many people died in that very instant. the pain is overwhelming and i didn't even know a single person that was killed. i can't imagine the heartache of people who had friends or loved ones aboard those planes or in those buildings. i mourn for them and for the rest of the country. after the moment of silence they played ray charles' version of America the Beautiful. again...it made me cry like a baby.
the rest of my day was spent like any other day. i got into work. i got the orders that had to be entered for the day and began to enter them into our computer system. a stray puppy had found it's way to our building and so most of the day i was cuddling him and taking care of him. it was a nice distraction. i conversed with coworkers about our memories of last year and did my job. there wasn't much time to do anything else. my boss isn't one to let us huddle around a tv or radio to watch the memorials. i wish i could have seen them, but maybe it would have been too much. i don't know.
i would look at the clock to try to keep my memory on the events that were unfolding at that time last year. i would take a minute and say a little prayer for the people that were and are still affected. then i'd go back to my day.
when i got home from work i sat in my kitchen with my family. discussing the day, gathering around the tv and just generally living our lives. around 6 pm i decided to go to my room and watch ABC news' special on the day. i've been steadily crying since then. watching the stories of our nation's leaders as they lived them and then later the accounts of the victims who were inside towers one and two.
i will never be able to imagine the things they saw, heard or went through. i don't think i would ever want to. seeing them on tv is enough for me.
i pray that those people will one day be able to live their lives as they did before September 11, 2001. sadly, i don't think that will ever happen. we've all been affected by that day. it will forever haunt us. it's a day all airplanes were grounded. a day two of the most well known building collapsed. a day when the nation sat in stunned silence as the day unfurled.
when i think of how much this day represents loss to so many people, i also think of how it gave me so much. without this day, i don't think i would have been in the relationship i am today. without this day, belmont would have been just another person in the Bronze i was cordial to, but never really had a meaningful conversation with.
in the days following the attacks, he and i were posting at another board. i had expressed my utter disbelief and sadness about what had happened and he private messaged me to see how i was doing. me! i wasn't the one who had been literal feet from the towers collapsing. he had. yet, he was worried about me and how i was dealing with things. it struck me and from that day forward we private messaged back and forth. we emailed. we exchanged phone calls and eventually expressed our love for each other. this led to our first meeting and i don't have a single regret about any of it. he is my light and i don't know what i'd do without him.
most of you probably didn't know he'd been there or how we initially became involved. now you know. maybe now you understand why i feel the way i do about today and him.
all i can say is that i wish something like this didn't have to happen to bring us all closer. unfortunately, as human beings we have to have something so devastating happen to us before we can understand and appreciate what we have. i hope you all take a minute and appreciate how good we really do have it. i don't understand people who can be so completely untouched or uncaring about these events. it makes me wonder about the kind of people they are.
my aunt, among many other people, don't want to hear about the events of last year. they're either tired of hearing about, it's too painful, or they simply don't care. i'm not sure what category my aunt falls into. it does make me angry though. i know people are entitled to feel how they wnat. i respect that. however, it makes me call into question that persons character. how could you not care about what happened? i would have thought this would be a wake up call to americans. however, i'm finding more and more that people feel far removed from it. that it happened hundreds of miles away from them and seemingly doesn't affect them. well, pardon me, but fuck you. i live 900 miles from NYC and about 500 from Washington, DC. still, it struck every fiber in my being. i don't know how someone can watch that footage and not be affected. i can't watch it without getting goosebumps and having tears well up and a lump form in my throat. i guess it all just comes down to priorities. how you view others feelings and pain versus your own. i don't know. i'm going to stop ranting about it now.
this day will always be etched into my memory. i will never forget....